I suppose those whom I care and who care for me will read this post and understand.

How hurtful is it to hear heart-breaking acid words from the one you can never escape, for a lifetime?

How hurtful is it when you have to choose to ignore, when you know that reasoning is not gonna happen between you and the one.

A clever girl once told me that:

stop explaining and you'll feel better.

wisdom words. very hurtful one to boot.
 
Shall I really quit trying to realise you of something from today onwards?

Yes, this gonna be my last time being a fool thinking my hearty lecture will somehow work.Not even a single line worked.


But,lastly,

have you ever considered why would I endure all the pain to do all that? I can just take everything for granted I can just turn a blind eye turn a deaf year from the very beginning and why would I? Sitting in front of the pc and write this out accompanied by tears.

I sometimes fear of myself. I am getting lazier to pretend that I'm that good girl originating from a well-to-do happy family.


Friends, please be understanding towards my condition. Be able to comprehend me if I were involuntarily being too harsh, prejudiced against certain things that I've been hurt by or lack of. Like, I might agree with those who can't get close with their fathers because of certain unhappy past which we the outsiders would never see the whole picture, with that, don't judge like a moral textbook author.

I am sad that I am not as blissful. But still, I am fortunate for many other things. I will always be that good girl moving on her path towards a desired tomorrow. I still love and be loved.

I am just revealing one of my bruishes which I dont wish to cover it anymore. It was way too hectic.